What does it truly mean to be a woman? I think that’s a question that we all tell ourselves. I don’t even know if there is a correct answer to this, but it has been coming up lately. I love that song by Emmy Meli, I am a woman. Doesn’t she make it so simple ( I go for what I want and somehow it finds me)? But what’s the process like becoming that confident woman? Understanding who we are and what we stand for? 

I can say in the thirty-four years that I’ve lived on this earth so far this is a question I’m still asking myself. I believe there are multiple facets we experience in life to determine who we are, and hopefully, reach the point of knowing.

Let me share some things that have helped me discover myself. 

Remove People’s Misconceptions 

This is by far the hardest thing to do. I give a hard-ass high five to the women who just know who they are and own that they are different and fu** what others think. (you go, girl!!). That wasn’t quite my journey. I found myself catering to the perception of what others thought I should be. Shy, fierce, submissive and quiet, vibrant. I don’t know what that phase was ( but it was exhausting). I knew deep down I wasn’t being true to myself. You know that voice that says (girl you’re faking) or whatever your voice says listen to it. Be authentic to who you are. Maybe you are a little bit of everything at different moments in your life. But take the time to figure that out. Be true to yourself, not what others believe you should be. 

Worry and Fear

Girl, please stop worrying about the next thing. The school acceptance letter, the next man, the man laying next to you, that job if you don’t want to come in on your day off.. Stop worrying. let me say it again. STOP WORRYING. Worry solves nothing, but it will give you gray hair early, and regret. What is the worst that can happen honestly? And would it be that bad? You miss every opportunity you don’t take. I’ll give you a little help… whatever thought you’re having that’s holding you back, 90% of the time it’s not true. That automatic thought is the devil and we rebuke it lol. But it’s telling you something about yourself, perhaps your parents did not affirm you or told you you weren’t good enough. But let me tell you something.. YOU ARE. You are more than ready at this moment to do what you’ve been waiting to do. What are you waiting for? Go for it, honey! 

Go for Everything 

Yes, please! Go for everything that moves your spirit. You don’t know what you like until you try it. Give it a go girl. Try to explore and travel. Drake had it right when he said “ everybody dies, but not everybody lives”. 

Be Open to Learning

Now this one is my favorite! Honey, I know you’ve been through some things and have some life experience, even wisdom, but please stay open to learning. Children are the best example of what being present looks like. They play, laugh, dance, create, meet, love, and explore. Be open to people who are different from you, and think differently than you do. I worked in a nursing home and learned so much from the elderly population about owning who you are. Listen and take what resonates with you, but be open to it. You never know everything, and if you think you do you haven’t lived and made enough mistakes. Keep living! 

Don’t Rush Success it Will Come

Everything will come in its timing. Every moment of your life, you only get once. This day is only this day and then tomorrow comes. What in this moment can you be thankful for and grow from? I promise you if you try to enjoy this moment as best as you can ( now I know there are extraneous circumstances, I’m not talking about those). I’m talking about the moments where we have everything we need to be happy with the basics, and we still are ungrateful and rushing for the next big thing. Be happy at this moment. Keep working, keep living, it will come. Consistency is key, but today is just as important as the future. And we all know ( well I hope) that nothing but anxiety exists when we are so busy trying to overly live for the future. 

Have Good Friends

Have people around you that love and respect you for who you are. I get the feeling of loneliness, but nothing feels more lonely than being with a crowd of people and feeling unheard, unloved, misunderstood. Friends can make or break you in many instances. Be around those who inspire you, uplift you, and who you feel you can learn from. Take the time to know who you are and set boundaries around the type of people you allow in your life. The beautiful thing is you are the master of your life. You can choose (outside of family for the most part) who you allow in your life. If you start with the love of self, you’ll be able to set firm boundaries with those who do not serve you. 

Have Fun 

Laugh a lot, dare to be different, smile, run, play. Be light-hearted. I know oftentimes we get so caught up in the mundane of life. Whatever brings a lasting smile to your face, do it. Life is so short, oftentimes we take it too seriously. 

Prayer and Meditation 

This one has changed my life. I pray and meditate about everything I possibly can. Always be open to talking to God, and listening. Meditation is a way to hear within, to silence the noise, and listen to your inner compass. Try it, if it doesn’t feel natural, I encourage you to keep trying it. 

These are just a few of the things that have been helpful for me. However, I’m still learning and growing each day, But I must say I am proud of the woman I am, and that I know I will be.