Are you too emotionally invested in your relationships?

I am a big advocate for emotional awareness and taking care of yourself. When we master the ability to tap into our emotions and identify triggers, we become a force to be reckoned with. Many highly sensitive people or empaths learn to become emotionally aware early in life. The profound ability to sense others’ emotions before they can their own, can be significant in helping professionals such as doctors, therapists, spiritual healers, life coaches, etc. However, with such capabilities comes the downside of over-investment in others’ lives. 

We can become so encompassed in the healing of another person, even seeing where they make mistakes and what choices they should make to follow the path they desire. Here are some ways in which overly emotionally investing in someone else’s life can hurt you. 

 

 

Attachment to the outcome of a person’s life

Yes! It’s fantastic that you want to help that friend because you see the best in them. You advise this person whenever they are in a new relationship, you answer the phone whenever they call, and decide to be their “go-to” when they need answers. When significant choices need to be made in their lives, such as leaving that “toxic relationship,” you celebrate with them. Still, if they choose to go back into that relationship, you’re Pi**ed (and yes, you should be hurt for your friend, but you’re overly invested). Yes, I said it, excessively invested. You may even get to the point where you stop talking to them due to their choices. You have made their life path your own. 

Healthy relationships require autonomy and boundaries. Anyone in your life has the right to make any choice they choose. Yes, you can see this person’s wrong decisions, but this is not your life. It is time for you to set some healthy boundaries and start working on things to enhance your life, and it could be beneficial to create some distance from codependency in relationships. 

 

 

You are the Savior for everyone

Oh, here we are! You feel so important (well, you are), but you feel validated when fixing things; In your career, at home, with friends, and at your local market. You help those around you; maybe you feel that your purpose in life is to help (and yes, it may be, obviously, with boundaries). But everywhere you go, your sole role is to help. Helping is a beautiful thing, but who’s helping you? Often when we become the person helping everyone around us, we miss our internal updates (yes, our growth). You’re so focused on the development of others that you limit your progress. Are you still at that job you hate? In a relationship that’s not fulfilling? You’re still engaging in relationships that don’t pour into you? You have yet to do everything you said you would because you are attached to other people’s progress. Do you feel “less important” when you are not helping? Perhaps, some of this or all of it applies to you. Here is some help

Take some time to notice relationships where people “allow” you to put a lot into them and aren’t giving much in return; cut them off; this is the first step of self-love. The first step is awareness, but you have that part down, right? That’s why you’re here. 

A negative outlook on the world

 

Remember! That helping is beautiful, but we are who we surround ourselves with, which means that you deserve to be around some people who are also lights in your life. If, in most aspects of your life, you’re helping many people, you will become empty. I know you all have heard that old saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” which means you can’t keep giving all of yourself to others if you first don’t pour into yourself. If you do, your life will become a representation of them, which usually results in a gloomy outlook on the world and feeling “low,” often, this can look like depression. Remember, it is not your job to encompass yourself in others’ lives. Yes, you can lend a hand, but please do so with some boundaries for yourself and your relationships. Yes, you can be a wonderful friend to those in need, but you must set boundaries and limits to how much dumping “aka emotional baggage” you allow others to place on you. 

 

You could also be stopping other people’s growth. Remember, we often learn from mistakes. When babies start walking, they also fall, eventually gaining their needed strength. Love the people around you, but allow them to grow; allow yourself the ability to take care of yourself. 

 

Sending Love and Light, 

 

Ari