Cloudy days are okay

I’m wondering how people manifest the life they truly deserve. I’m sitting here with about three vision boards, of which not many things have come true. I often wonder if I became sidetracked in some dysfunctional way or released the need to have all these material things, which 95% of my vision board truly meant. None of those things truly mean anything to me at this moment. I often imagine sitting next to a lake or some body of water and looking into the water with peace and happiness, with a kid or two running around laughing and playing. Those little simple things mean the world to me and feel so out of reach. I have devoted most of my life to others, but feel so empty sometimes. I’m not sure why. I am married, have people who love me. But I look around and have noticed a need to change things. For things to be different. To travel, to laugh more, to see smiles and joy. I have been doing this thing lately when I go on walks where I watch people’s faces around me. Most have this somber face, lacking any joy, but mostly demonstrating looks of defeat, the look of “another day” routine that I must complete or do. I don’t know if it’s my perception, but they smile back when I smile, which makes me wonder about life and how we live. Why do people choose to live in unhappiness? Is it because of fear, a need to fit the worlds view of happiness, or other ridiculous reasons? I recall being younger and feeling this excitement that reached out of my body and touched others. How did I lose that? What happened?

I don’t know! This post is becoming a bit depressing, haha, but it’s the life of people. There are days where joy and excitement exist, but there are also shitty days, and sometimes, all the yoga, meditation, or nature walks won’t bring you to the place you would like to be. I encourage riding the waves that each day brings and allowing yourself space to feel less then enthusiastic today. The feeling wont last forever. Life is weird in that way. I hope you choose to live a life that brings you as close to ecstasy as possible.

Always love and light.

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